Baby thoughts

The weekend is just about here, and of course it's a long weekend, and I have to work! Oh well.... I just keep thinking of the whole year off that I'll have very shortly. No matter. One Canada Day weekend won't kill me.

Yesterday I saw a tiny baby at work. A former co-worker came by to show off her foster daughter. Nearly 4 months old, preemie, and only 6.3pounds or so. Wow! I hadn't seen a kid that small before. Well, not recently anyway. My babes were 8 and 7 pounds. That little girl kept me thinking of the wee thing growing inside me. I hope all is well. My biggest fear is that this one will not be healthy. That I wasn't lucky the third time around. How life would be turned completely upside down by an un-healthy baby. I'm talking brain damage, disfigurement or Down Syndrome. I don't know if I could handle that one. I'm sure that given time I could, but initially I'm sure that I would break down in my hormonal state, and be unable to function for a time. But, I try not to think about that part of the possibilities. I think of the days and nights that this wee one will need me, and the sleepless nights. It's only a short time that exists, that part of the journey is short - to end up with a child that can communicate and state that they truly love you - unconditionally. That's what being a parent is all about.

It's funny the third time around. I'm not nervous (not that I ever was), the weeks slip by, and I hardly notice them. October will get here soon enough. I know that sooner or later I'll have to think about newborn baby clothes (which I gave away after DD)... I'll have to think about setting up the crib in the bedroom, and I'll have to think of the multitude of "stuff" that comes with a baby. Hopefully I can get by with the minimum on this one considering that space has gotten smaller with 2 others spreading out their wings and toys all over the house! ;)

But right now, I'm enjoying this belly that is getting harder, firmer and larger. I'm enjoying the kicks and punches to my side. I'm enjoying the fluttering where I swear the baby is tickling me. To know that new life is growing inside you... it's a great thing. I can't believe that I'll be able to experience another miracle in this world - because in the end... that's what it is.

Rella

Just, please, get out of my way!

It's the little things in life that drive me crazy. They can set my day off into a tangent that I have to mindfully pull into another direction. I know when I'm in a grump. I know when my pissed-off mood is rubbing off on others, and I try to bring it all to center, and relax. ( I'm going to try and write it all down in an effort to get rid of it before the end of the day.)

So, when today the kids were driving me nuts, and I was running later than expected, I was just not ready to be inundated with stupid people who don't think of others. My private, paid parking spot is behind the building I work. Oneside of the laneway was blocked, so I went around, only to find out that my spot was taken by a huge trailer used by the guys currently working on the manhole in the middle of said blocked laneway. I mean, they had blocked the WHOLE laneway, but they had to park their trailer in my (and abou 4 others) spot? Can we say stupid?

Thank goodness for the landlord working in the building. His spot was good, but his employees were not happy. So, he went out and gave them a small blast. All was well, and they moved the trailer so we puny employees could park there.

But really, couldn't have someone looked up a little and noticed that there was a "Private Parking" sign there? I mean these guys CAN read! They did have alternatives, as evidenced by the laneway they blocked. ARGH! Normally something this small would not have bothered me. I would have moved my van and just let it the disgruntled feeling disappear. But, no go. This stupid pissed off feeling has stayed with me all day. And, in about 2 hours I'll pick up the kids and drive to some horrible McD's or something to celebrate the birthday of our 2 year old. (she wants french fries). I gotta get out of this funk. No kidding life can be stressful. Usually I'm not a stressed person, but today- everything has been irritating me.

Please, just stay out of my way today... and I'll try to *not* bite your head off.

Someone, give me a million!

Just a little million dollars... then I can go hide out and not worry about life.

Do you ever have one of those days where you just say WTF??? I think that I'm currently experiencing one that is lasting 2 days. I am saying WTF to my current employer. At this point in my life I'm married, 2 kids, 1 on the way, and I figure that I'm mature enough to take on the responsibility of both a part time job and a family. But that all gets shot to hell when I'm expected to take on the responsibility of others because they can't seem to manage life.

I'll probably end up deleting this, for fear of my employer finding this (she is also a good friend), but right now I need to get this off my chest. I work in a shop where there are 3 workers. Boss and 2 employees. I pretty much cover 2-3 days a week, boss - the same, and the 3rd person kinda throws in an evening and a weekend here and there. Works well really. Now, 3rd person can't work as often as possible, and Boss is having to shuffle shifts my way - because she "just can't be here". I love it, she has had this company for a little over a year, and hasn't figured out that when you are a business owner - ususally you are here every day! She puts in 2-3 days a week and a Saturday shift a month. ARGH! Then, she gives me shit when I can't cover a shift. I'm not helping out like the others are. BULLSH!T! I cover her ass all the time! I'm here when her kids are sick. I change my whole schedule for her when she has conflicts at her daycare. I'm here whenever she wants me to be, and NOW she tells me that I'm not helping out. WTF??

Case in point. 3rd employee has 2 Saturday shifts this month, but now says that she can't do them both because hubby is working both Saturdays. (he has a new full time job). So, instead of hiring someone new after NOBODY can take the shifts (- or taking one herself) She is looking at me, and wondering why I can't take the shifts. I'm not "doing anything". I'm sorry if I want a weekend to myself where I can work on my backyard in order to keep it up so I can sell my house next year. Every weekend I have been helping someone else, or working at the store, so SH!T if I can't have a weekend to myself. I've done enough double Saturday shifts that I'm sick of it! I did my time, now find someone else to do it!

I'm even taking a damn machine home with me during my Maternity Leave (yes, I'm taking the whole year) because nobody wants to learn the machine, and I'm the only one who knows how to work it.

Damn

I feel that when I get back from Maternity leave there will be no store to come back to. I keep thinking that she is running the thing into the ground. I don't even want to get into the money trouble there is. But, instead of asking for help, or getting a partner into the store, she keeps going on, and putting it all on her own shoulders. I know that for her grant she HAS to keep the store up for 2 years (due in April 2008), but it's not working. I'm not about to help her out financially, because I just can't do it (and frankly don't want to). But damn. Either put in more hours, hire someone, or call it quits. It's starting to get annoying!

Okay, enough venting. I have to go do a few more things this afternoon. Yes, I'm at work. Taking a late lunch break and getting stuff done! ARGH!

Rella

Let's play... catchup!

Wow. It's been a while since I blogged, but that only means that my hubby and I are talking more, and I have less to get off my chest. (Such as it is).

Let's see... to catch up.

Pirates 3 - Good movie. Don't expect too much, and you will be happily surprised. After-all movies are just entertainment. Period.

Spiderman 3 - Ditto from above. But, not as good as P3.

Baby update - Well, I'm about 23 weeks along. No, I'm not going to translate that into months (okay somewhere around 5 months). It's annoying enough to remember the weeks or months, I'm not trying to do both.

The baby is doing well. (no surprise considering my baby-making history). My belly is growing, but not as fast as the last few times. Which, is a good thing. I think that I've gained now a total of 9-10 pounds in 23 weeks. I like those numbers! I credit continuing my workout and boxing, although squash has suffered since Kris has been sick. The ultrasound was a bust when it came to finding out the gender. Oh well. Another surprise then! :)

Kids - The rugrats are growing like crazy. DD (almost 2) is finally in her own room. (She woke up constantly, thus her bed stayed in our room - why the heck should I actually get up to deal with her?) Last night was a rough night. She came looking for me at about 2:30AM. Yeah, she went downstairs (where I usually am, except at 2:30AM), so the moral of THAT story is to keep the gate up at the top of the stairs, so I can keep an ear out as to where she is. Would consider putting the gate on her own door, but that would make for a bad scene when prego me went to check on her at night, and forgot the gate was there! :)

Life - Life is crazy as always. People think I'm nuts for continuing Boxing at this stage of the pregnancy. Too bad. I love boxing. But, I wanted to pummel the bxing trainers girlfriend last time. Yeah... "How far along are you". "Wow, 5+ months! You've really gained." (Which I haven't). "I remember really popping during the last month. Before that, I really didn't have a belly." THAT is total BS. Sure Ms Skinny Stick, you had no trace of a pregnancy until the last month. I highly doubt it. The longer she talked, the better it sounded to work out my frustrations on the heavy bag. Can you guess who I pictured there? There are just some things you don't say - especially if you are a skinny stick, who can't remember even how to hit the damn bag! ARGH!

Anyway, life is good now, and I'm off to work. Hope your day is a good one.