Ramblings of a Possessed Homebody

Christmas Gifts - Bah, humbug

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 02:27:00 +0000

You know.. I hate Christmas. I mean, I love Christmas, but I hate it too. I have this bad tendency to build things up in my head, and when the event comes I'm usually bitterly disappointed. I remember one Christmas where I almost cried. I got 2 gifts. That's it. 2. One of which I didn't want, and the other came out of left field, but nothing I wanted. That, and I hate getting clothing. It really just makes me realize how much weight I have to lose again. Mind you, I need clothes, but I just don't want anyone else buying them, forget it being my mother-in-law or her family who buys me clothes that are too big, and look like they belong on someone 20 years older than I am.

But strangely, I love buying gifts for family, and the kids... it's amazing to see their eyes light up when they get something that they've been wanting. I guess that's what I'm missing. Wanting. There isn't really anything that I want right now in life. Nothing that really is at the top of my wish list (that's easy to buy, or within anyone's budget). So, I get sad when I get crap that I've never wanted, now have to find space for. It means that people don't get me. I can so understand others. I'm great and buying gifts... but I don't know what I want - how can I expect others to. They get me knicknacks - when I've sworn never to have any. They get me lotion - I hate lotions, I forget to use them. They get me bubblebaths.... I don't do baths. So, what to get me? I dunno.... time at the gym. A cool gadget. Time with a professional organizer. A cooking class. A book I've been wanting. A renewal on my magazine subscript. There are things... but I don't know how many people know me that well.

But, what's a gift really? Time with friends I'll take any day over a crappy knicknak. Give me fixings for a good pizza dinner and a date with which to share it with my friends.... that's a good one.

Well, I'm off shopping tomorrow. Gotta keep within the budget. Hard, but do-able (I hope).

Have a good weekend.

Rella

Baby update, mom time

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 03:17:00 +0000

Yet another week down and finished. Friday - finally. Well, it doesn't mean as much as it used to - back in the days when I was working, and not on maternity leave - but it does mark another week done and over and behind me. Things are going well with the baby - I can understand how some new moms feel going crazy with the new issues coming up. Thank goodness I have 2 other kids to remind me that things do pass. Yes, the old phrase "this too shall pass" comes to mind.

I've been using my mother lately to help me out around the house. We've been tackling jobs that I've wanted to get done, but just haven't had that second set of hands - and really, since we have stopped Yard Sale-ing, it's a chance to talk and be together. Thankfully my linen closet and kid's bedrooms are starting to look like I've been getting things done! :) I keep thinking of those days when women would have their mom's over for months at a time - I'm glad that I can have her a day a week, enough to get things done, but not too long that she drives me crazy. Mostly I want my nap time. I know that sounds nuts, but I know that the days will come when naps will be a thing of the past, so I'm just enjoying spending time with my baby and cuddling her while we sleep. Hard to believe that I was doing that 2+ years ago - it seems a lifetime!

Well, I have nothing major to report. Let's hope that I can keep up the cleaning, and baby keeps getting better and not worse. I keep hearing that "true" colic (if there is a thing as true) begins at 6 weeks. Believe me, my son broke that rule from the get go... and this kid, well... she has her screaming moments, but we're doing ok.

Rella

Demon Chocolate.....

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 03:33:00 +0000

Well, Halloween has come and gone. It was a good one - except for the rain. Crappy night. Why can't they postpone it if it rains... geez!

But, the bad part about having young kids and Halloween, is that they don't guard their candy.. and it just sits there in the kitchen... waiting for me. And of course, I can't refuse. It's bad. I can't wait until I get up enough guts to just put it away for good. But, then again the kids will bug me about it I'm sure. Oh well.

The baby is doing well for anyone wondering. We're still doing half and half breastfeeding and bottle feeding, but that's good with me. Hubby says that I have an unfair advantage on trying to calm her when she's cranky. I'm just glad that I have that option open! :) I can't even think about stopping now. It's just not an option until later. We are getting the hang of this thing, and even the yeast infections are staying away *knock on wood*

Now, it's all a matter of figuring out how to work in some shopping. Why hasn't anyone come up with a gadget to heat bottles of milk while on the go. Not everyone has microwaves in their Food court! This is one thing that really bugs the hell out of me!!!

OH well. Gonna keep this short for tonight. Here's hoping that we have a good rest tonight.

Rella.

Look at them... jugs!

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 19:41:00 +0000

Wow, time is flying by with this kid. Life is good, things are finally getting into some kind of groove. Granted, I see 3am in that groove, but that's okay too, cuz I sometimes nap between 10am-12. I kinda wonder how far I'm actually going to get with this breastfeeding stuff. Baby #1 got as far as 3 months with major anxiety, baby #2 got 6 months, now I'm wondering if baby #3 will get more than 1 month??? Yeast infections are a pain, and once you have them they seem to come back fairly easily. That's what was our problem in week #2.... and guess what is back! ARGH!

I've been going bra-less for awhile now, in hopes of keeping the yeast away from my breasts, but I'm thinking that it hasn't made much of a difference. The girls are starting to hurt again, and I wonder if it's from ... umm.. lack of support.. ahem.. or the infection coming back. Pain in the nipple! Really! And to top it all off, there are other locations that are seeing yeast infections as well, and the itching is driving me nuts! Well, back to the other meds I guess. My Lactation consultant/Nurse Practitioner is gone for the weekend, but she left me with a pill I can take in case the infection comes back, so I guess I'm back to that.

Plus, in order to help more milk come in, I'm starting with this SNS - Supplementary Nursing System. Oh joy, another thing I have to wash, sterilize, etc, and hope it doesn't get contaminated with yeast. If I didn't believe so heavily in breastfeeding, I wonder how long I would last at this! But, I really want to at least get 2 months in, so I guess I'm in it for awhile then - lets just hope that the feeding gets better, and maybe, just maybe the milk will come in more. You'd figure with these jugs they would hold more than your average milk jug! :)

Anyway, hope all is going well with your life... if anyone is out there!

Rella

It's a Girl!

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:14:00 +0000

Okay, I guess it's about time I pulled myself out of the cave, and posted a blog entry on the new baby! She was born October 3rd, so it's already been 2 weeks! Well, 2 weeks goes by quickly when you are dealing with 3 kids now! Yikes!

Anyway, things went well that fateful Wednesday night. I knew things were off to a good start when I was having contractions during the evening that were only lasting 30 seconds, and were 10 minutes apart. Called Grandma (Mummi for those of you who are Finnish), and send the kids off. I was waving goodbye at 8:15 when hubby came back from his Karate class. Called the midwives, and told them to hussle. Last time I called them and they only had 1/2 hour before the baby arrived - they almost didn't make it last time. This time they had a good 2 hours to set up and get ready. I even called my hubby's best friend and our down-the-street neighbour who has wanted to see a birth since baby #1, five years ago.

So, midwives and hubby, and neighbour and 2 midwifery students all packed into my small/med bedroom ready to deliver. Hubby was great - he kept me focused, and made sure that my back wasn't killing me the whole time. I had some brutal contractions, and I'm really glad I was at home, cuz then those meds that are so tempting at this point are just not available - and out of temptations path!

So, long story short.... I got on the bed and delivered the baby at 10:30pm. She was just perfect. I didn't know if she would be a girl or a boy, so I was happily surprised when hubby piped up and said - "It's a girl!" I could just hear the smile on his face. It would have been good if was a boy too... he was just happy the baby was finally here!

Mia was 8pounds 10oz, 21 inches long and just perfect. We had a bit of trouble with breastfeeding, and we ended up in the hospital for 2 days on the IV while her hydration came back up, but I'll leave that story for another day.

Instead... here are some cute baby pics! :)

Weeks gone by

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:22:00 +0000

What... how can that be. going for weeks without blogging. I guess that I've been blogging in my dreams, yeah, if I had any at this point. I've been getting very little sleep lately. What, with the baby rolling on my 'innerds', and generally causing me pain at night, sleep is a fiction that I wish I could live. Between that, and getting up 3 times a night to pee, things just are driving me nuts.

Oh well. At least I can take a nap later. Let's hope.

P.

Update... pregnancy

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:54:00 +0000

It's sad really. I haven't been blogging because very little has been going on in my life. Besides, who's going to read it anyway. (Kris, you out there... oh yeah... you're coming to dinner!).

Anyway, things have been going well with the pregnancy. I can't believe that the end is near (read, kid will arrive soon - ACK!). I've been feeling really good about everything my body has been doing, or not doing for that matter... and really... it's all good.

I know that it's a bad thing to say, but I have been chatting with some friends going through hard times lately, and I keep remembering how good I've got it. Really. Good kids, great hubby, really good friends. Can't go wrong, right... right? Anyway, it's kinda like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know... the kid will show early, home delivery will go awry, and I won't even have anything for the kid to wear. Must fix that. It's actually hilarious that I don't have much for this kid yet. I mean.... it's only 4 weeks away. Guess I should get some stuff together. Kids are so easy at this age tho. They don't need much except clothes, diapers, a boob to suck on, and some comforting arms. At least, that's what I say now! :)

All in all... things are good. Now, what's oging to happen that I said that? Hmmm???? At this point, short of pregnancy complications, I could probably handle anything that life tosses my way. And, that's how I like it.

Rella

Hair Confusion

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:43:00 +0000

I grabbed my hot chocolate this morning at a local coffee shop before heading into work. I chatted up the guy behind the counter, and eventually made a little small talk about the weather to a lady sitting by the counter. She took one look at the white streak in my hair, and asked "Is that natural?".

I get this all the time, it's a birthmark, and I'm forever getting that comment on it. Doesn't matter what I'm doing, someone is going to come over and ask me about the hair. I used to work in a coffee shop kiosk, and people would cross the mall to ask me that question. (The best was a woman with pitch black dyed hair in a goth-bar asked me that question) No, I don't dye it, it's a birthmark. Usually the conversation ends up with an "oh..." and the person walks away. Did this small piece of information now make their day? Do they feel better now that they know I don't dye my hair? Do they feel upset they can't do the same? I dunno. It's weird.

So, for the upteenth time this month I said... "Yes, it's natural. It's a birthmark." I got a new reply from the woman... "My friend has something like that too... it's a syndrome... something to do with people who are smart... it's definitely a syndrome!". I tried to convince her that my mother had attributed it to the cow that kicked her while she was pregnant. "Nope, it's a syndrome" She liked that word just wayyy too much! Syndrome.

So, it got me thinking. Of course I looked it up. Hello Google. I never thought any more of this hair of mine, other than I cut it all off when I was 4, because the attention was too much. Turns out she is right - it is a syndrome. Waardenburg Syndrome.

"Waardenburg syndrome is a group of genetic conditions that can cause hearing loss and changes in coloring (pigmentation) of the hair, skin, and eyes. Although most people with Waardenburg syndrome have normal hearing, moderate to profound hearing loss can occur in one or both ears. People with this condition often have very pale blue eyes or different colored eyes, such as one blue eye and one brown eye. Sometimes one eye has segments of two different colors. Distinctive hair coloring (such as a patch of white hair or hair that prematurely turns gray) is another common sign of the condition. The features of Waardenburg syndrome vary among affected individuals, even among people in the same family."

Yeah, people that are smart. No, people that can't hear! Yes, I have a white patch of hair, and blue eyes, but the blue eyes are from my Finnish heritage. And I'm 34, and my hair is still not gray. So, I'm not betting the farm on Waardenburg syndrome. I'm betting more on that damn cow, or some mixup in chemicals when I was born. Or, just a plain white patch! Period.

Now I have to start worrying about hearing loss? Umm... no... I'll just leave it as a white patch of hair, thanks! Or, maybe I can convince you that lightning hit me there?

No?

Oh well

-Rella

If only I thought of this back then.

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 14:59:00 +0000

My niece took off to the UK today, and I worry.

I know, it's odd, but I do worry. You see, her mom, my sister, died about 4 years ago, and I'm her godmother. So, I worry. The kid is now 20, but still I wonder. She's smart, bright, and talkative with anyone, but the idea of her going overseas bugs me.

No, not really the overseas bit, more like the idea that she will be away from home for a year. See, the kid got smart somewhere and is going to school near Amsterdam for 1 semester and then running across the world to Sydney, Australia for her second semester. Crazy kid.

I wish I would have thought of doing that back then in university. But, back then I thought that world traveling was for when I got into my 30's. Nobody told me that the 20's was the time to do it - I'd be too busy with kids in my 30's. Argh! I really envy her. She's doing what she wants to do. But, all the same, I worry. She's visiting a friend in the UK first for 5 days, then heading to her school. I would be going crazy right about now if I was her. But, in regular fashion, I haven't heard from her yet. She'll check in with us in probably about a week. Yeah, that's when she'll realize that she's had a lot of fun, but nobody knows if she is alive or dead. So, I've left a message with the guy she is visiting in the UK to let me know that she is okay. I gotta have my spies! :)

Anyway, until then, I'll be worrying. I can't wait until she gets set up in her living quarters at school - then I know that she will stay put and start to organize her life. Then, maybe then, I'll receive word on how things are going.

Miss ya kid.
Rella

Take it... like a Woman!

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 14:17:00 +0000

I'm back to blogging... can you tell I've hit an idea that won't let go ? :)

Anyway, Demented Michelle had a post on today that really made me think. It made me think about my own Theory of Pain. Labour pain for the moment, but pain in general too. Why is it that some people are so sensitive to pain, while others aren't? Why is it that some people can "take" so much more than others? Well, I'm hardly a researcher with all the answers, but I can relate my own tales.

For me, I have a high tolerance to pain. Why? I think it has to do with genetics, and also how my family perceives pain. I know, sounds wonky, but stay with me. My family is hardly ever prone to hysterics. We are a very "even" bunch. We don't fly off the handle when bad things happen - quite the opposite, we put our heads down and get things done. I remember when my father died, my family was in tears yes, but none of us were slobbering through the service or otherwise. We got through it, we bonded together, we were together all the time - helping each other silently.

When I was young, if someone was injured it wasn't a big deal. I remember skinning my knees or cutting myself, and never did my mother make a fuss. She just talked about how we had to take care of it, and clean it up. It would be all better. I didn't even get any candy to make me feel better - that was up to me. I remember my father cutting off his finger, and I happened to stop by. There was my father and mother rushing around, looking for something to wrap it up - my mother was more concerned about the blood getting everywhere than the actual injury - mostly because my father wasn't yelling or screaming. I'm sure that initial scream happened, but then he was really calm. I drove him to the hospital. He didn't complain... well, until the guy who was stitching him up wasn't doing a great job, in which case he asked if he could give the guy a few pointers on how to sew something up right - all in his broken English.. :)

So, how does this get back to my theory of pain? Well, it's all back to that simple equation. Mind over matter. If you've been trained all your life to view pain as not a big deal - any pain will not be a big deal. It's something you work through, not something you try to mask. It's there for a reason, and once you get past it, it will go away.

That's how I view labour. After going through this 2 times before, I see myself getting through this with no problems again. Yes, I have started to prepare for it. I practice maybe 1-2 minutes of relaxation in the shower every day - nothing fancy, just practicing relaxing my body parts. I've gone to see my chiropractor, just to make sure that everything is in alignment. I sit properly - I take care of myself. And I guess my body has been practicing for labour with all these Braxton Hicks contractions that I've been getting - it's basically your body prepping for the big day.

It's also one other thing.... It's taking it slow. I can't imagine ever being induced into labour. It's like asking a person to start running full out from a dead stop. Very difficult. But, if you ask that same person to walk for a little bit, to see their target, to slowly start speeding up, then run full out, I'm sure it's a lot easier to get to a good speed. Why would we ask our bodies to start dealing with full out pain, via induction when we can slowly get there... getting used to each contraction, each stage, understanding how the pain is working, and what position feels better - instead of being strapped to a bed, unable to move, and having to get more chemicals pumped into your body to counteract the other chemicals that were pumped in earlier?

Hmm.. that's just my little rant. Do I plan on getting induced into labour? No, unless it's a natural induction via pressure points and acupuncture. Do I plan on using drugs for this one? No, I know that I can do it... and I've done it before... so I know that I can work through this one too. My body knows how to do it, my mind is getting ready for it... and I've done my homework and appointments like I should. Am I scared? Of course. You can't go through 9 months of gestation, and expect to be all smiles about the end. There are many uncertainties... but, the one thing that keeps me going, is that I've got everything ready. I know my contingency plan, and that makes me calm. I'm like a boy scout - prepared!

Before kids? What does that mean?

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:35:00 +0000

Now I've gone and done it! I've dropped off the kids and am now kid-free for a week!

Okay, bring you up to speed... I took my vacation days, but instead of taking a relaxing vacation, I promised to help a friend run a week-long children's camp. 56 screaming kids... fun. So, now I'm back. My sister promised to take my kid's to her cottage (northern ontario folk - read CAMP) for the week in exchange for watering her flowers. Good deal!

Now, I have a quandry! What to do with myself for a week without kids? Regularly I'd be working 2 or 3 days this week. But, thankfully my boss left me here, and I'm working every day. Yes, can you feel the sarcasm? ARGH! So, my days are free from 5pm to 10am every day. Yep, including Saturday.

What the heck did I do before kids? What did I do with my time? I mean the day dragged on Monday (long weekend). I cleaned the upstairs, and tidied the kitchen, and even had time to catch a movie. Weird. Yep, I should have cleaned the whole house, but who the heck wants to do that all day? Especially when you have the week looming ahead of you.

Yeah, I know... it'll be Friday before I know it. And we're picking up the kids on Saturday after work. Then there's the BBQ we are hosting on Sunday. oh fun.

Anyway, there's the update for the week. I go from 56 kids to 0... just wait... soon it will be 2, then 3. Ack! the messes!

Talk to you later!
Rella

Venting on Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 17:55:00 +0000

Ever think that you have bit off more than you can chew.

Yeah.

Welcome to my world.

Right now looming over my head I have a website, a website gallery, sewing to do for a kid's camp, organizing the crafts for said camp.... not to mention all the regular day stuff I do - you know... cook, clean, tidy, looking after crazy kids... working ... argh! I just feel like I've bit off more than I can chew at the moment - especially the website and web gallery. I don't know what I was thinking starting them. Oh, I know... I wanted to save my boss $500. Hmm.. seems she doesn't understand that. All the feedback that I've asked for... I just don't get. So, now that I've gone ahead and made a website that even I think is crappy, she's asking for 50 different changes, oh, and change the basic look of it while you are at it. Great. Another 30 hours to add to my dwindling day. I so don't want to do this. ARGH!

Anway, at least it's Friday, and I only have to get over today, then Saturday's day at work. Then I have to work Monday. Hallelujah some "days off" are coming. Oh yeah, I'm the craft lady at the kid's camp for my days off. Darn.

Well... at least I go on maternity leave in September. With my luck I'll still be working on this as I go into labor!

Have a good weekend!

Rella

Preggo update

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 16:59:00 +0000

Hello readers... sorry if this is TMI... but... I don't hold anything back! :)

This last week has been killing me. I know, I shouldn't be washing walls and going crazy cleaning, but at this point the nesting is starting to sink in. That, and we went away for the weekend, and the cat had his way with the front door wall. I know.. TMI!

But, really, I should have expected feeling like this, but not so soon! I mean, I'm at what... um... 29? weeks so far? Okay, I should know this, but really with this being baby #3, I'm glad I remember the due date. I remember being a first time mom and knowing the exact number of weeks I was at, how many were left, and what the baby's growth rate was at. Now, well... I know that it's getting close... October 1st. As for anything else, I have to constantly look it up. My trainer asked me ... you have about 10 weeks to go right? Uhhhh.... that sounds ok. :) Call it pregnancy brain or something, but I call it priorities. The baby is growing... the midwife says all is well, so I'm not about to start worrying about how far along I am. I'll get there! :) This baby will show up whether or I know the exact week I'm "on".

Anyway I'm looking forward to the weekend - despite the call for rain, again! I mean seriously, how many nights of rain and thunder can one city deal with. It's great to fall asleep to, but the chills first thing in the morning have got me closing the window pretty darn fast! I'm hoping it all lets up and we can have our Dragonboat races. I'm not involved, but the kids sure have fun watching. Oh well. Either we watch outside, or I get to clean my house. Either way, I'll be happy! :)

Hope your weekend is a good one!
Rella!

The Hollywood lie to women

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:10:00 +0000

It's funny, family will do strange things to you. We just got back from a weekend away, visiting my hubby's step-family. Not bad, but after that weekend, I just wanted to go home, sit on the couch and turn off my brain. So, we rented a Chic Flick (I know, my hubby is good like that).

We rented "Her Minor Thing" (2005), mostly because nothing was jumping out at me, and they played a preview of it while I was looking for a rental. Generally not a bad movie, as long as you remember to turn off your brain first. It was a typical chic flick, nothing deep or salacious, but generally a fluff piece. I go for that - movies are there to entertain me! :) But, in the end, while I'm cuddling on the couch with hubby, I broke out laughing afterwards. Yes, I was tired, yes, I was beat, but I just had to laugh at my husband's comment about his own "hippy" hair (now maybe 1/2 inch long). The main male lead had hair down to his shoulders. I broke out in hysterics. Not at his comment, but generally at life.

Hollywood makes women stupid. I totally believe this. We are spoon fed leading men that are supposed to be the ultimate male catch. It's probably one of a few stereotypes, but I'm only going to work on Mr. Sensitive. You know - Mr. Sensitive? You can spot him a mile away. Long hair, artsy-type, maybe a watch on his arm(but only if there are a few well placed bracelets to go with it), brooding, a little messy, but generally well kept, smells great, maybe a small tatoo, but deeply misunderstood - and broken heart thanks to a stupid woman (or a line of them). It makes me laugh. Where is this man? He's just waiting for the right woman to find him so he can write songs about them, or take their B&W picture (so he can sit an brood with it), paint them, or sculpt them. No comment about if or how he makes a living - that's a whole other story.

So, what made me laugh? I thought I wanted Mr. Sensitive in my life. Usually Mr. Sensitive with the long hair is brooding cuz he's a jerk, he's a well kept slob, he smells great because his ex bought him the cologne to cover the "smell", and he can't keep a woman because he's too busy brooding about "poor him". So, what did I get instead? I didn't tread too far away from Mr. Sensitive, but it was in totally different package. Mr. Sensitive is all about understanding you, about connecting with you, about treating you like a queen. My Mr. Sensitive is tall, muscular, with salt & pepper hair (when he doesn't shave it to 1/4"), he's a computer guy with a good job, he probably hasn't worn a necklace since we dated (talk about bait and switch! :) ). But really, he gets me. We laugh at the same things, we have our stupid jokes together, he may not make computer programs about me, but he takes tonnes of fabulous pictures for me to use in my scrapbook. He isn't the movie version of Mr. Sensitive, but I wouldn't trade him for anything.

I hope like hell that my kids will learn that what is in the movies is not real life. I hope my son learns to look for the character of a woman, not her measurements. I hope that my daughter finds her own Mr. Sensitive, and not a guy that looks like him, but treats her like crap. Mostly, I hope they make some good, real life choices. It's really too bad that Hollywood does this. I mean, what's a computer geek to do? I guess he could wear a necklace, but if it's not you, then why do it? Cuz, in the end, nobody can measure up to the leading men in life - because they aren't real! (Granted Christian Kane wasn't hard to look at in this movie!)

Talk to you soon! Hope all is well.
Rella

Baby thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 14:29:00 +0000

The weekend is just about here, and of course it's a long weekend, and I have to work! Oh well.... I just keep thinking of the whole year off that I'll have very shortly. No matter. One Canada Day weekend won't kill me.

Yesterday I saw a tiny baby at work. A former co-worker came by to show off her foster daughter. Nearly 4 months old, preemie, and only 6.3pounds or so. Wow! I hadn't seen a kid that small before. Well, not recently anyway. My babes were 8 and 7 pounds. That little girl kept me thinking of the wee thing growing inside me. I hope all is well. My biggest fear is that this one will not be healthy. That I wasn't lucky the third time around. How life would be turned completely upside down by an un-healthy baby. I'm talking brain damage, disfigurement or Down Syndrome. I don't know if I could handle that one. I'm sure that given time I could, but initially I'm sure that I would break down in my hormonal state, and be unable to function for a time. But, I try not to think about that part of the possibilities. I think of the days and nights that this wee one will need me, and the sleepless nights. It's only a short time that exists, that part of the journey is short - to end up with a child that can communicate and state that they truly love you - unconditionally. That's what being a parent is all about.

It's funny the third time around. I'm not nervous (not that I ever was), the weeks slip by, and I hardly notice them. October will get here soon enough. I know that sooner or later I'll have to think about newborn baby clothes (which I gave away after DD)... I'll have to think about setting up the crib in the bedroom, and I'll have to think of the multitude of "stuff" that comes with a baby. Hopefully I can get by with the minimum on this one considering that space has gotten smaller with 2 others spreading out their wings and toys all over the house! ;)

But right now, I'm enjoying this belly that is getting harder, firmer and larger. I'm enjoying the kicks and punches to my side. I'm enjoying the fluttering where I swear the baby is tickling me. To know that new life is growing inside you... it's a great thing. I can't believe that I'll be able to experience another miracle in this world - because in the end... that's what it is.

Rella

Just, please, get out of my way!

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 19:18:00 +0000

It's the little things in life that drive me crazy. They can set my day off into a tangent that I have to mindfully pull into another direction. I know when I'm in a grump. I know when my pissed-off mood is rubbing off on others, and I try to bring it all to center, and relax. ( I'm going to try and write it all down in an effort to get rid of it before the end of the day.)

So, when today the kids were driving me nuts, and I was running later than expected, I was just not ready to be inundated with stupid people who don't think of others. My private, paid parking spot is behind the building I work. Oneside of the laneway was blocked, so I went around, only to find out that my spot was taken by a huge trailer used by the guys currently working on the manhole in the middle of said blocked laneway. I mean, they had blocked the WHOLE laneway, but they had to park their trailer in my (and abou 4 others) spot? Can we say stupid?

Thank goodness for the landlord working in the building. His spot was good, but his employees were not happy. So, he went out and gave them a small blast. All was well, and they moved the trailer so we puny employees could park there.

But really, couldn't have someone looked up a little and noticed that there was a "Private Parking" sign there? I mean these guys CAN read! They did have alternatives, as evidenced by the laneway they blocked. ARGH! Normally something this small would not have bothered me. I would have moved my van and just let it the disgruntled feeling disappear. But, no go. This stupid pissed off feeling has stayed with me all day. And, in about 2 hours I'll pick up the kids and drive to some horrible McD's or something to celebrate the birthday of our 2 year old. (she wants french fries). I gotta get out of this funk. No kidding life can be stressful. Usually I'm not a stressed person, but today- everything has been irritating me.

Please, just stay out of my way today... and I'll try to *not* bite your head off.

Someone, give me a million!

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 19:09:00 +0000

Just a little million dollars... then I can go hide out and not worry about life.

Do you ever have one of those days where you just say WTF??? I think that I'm currently experiencing one that is lasting 2 days. I am saying WTF to my current employer. At this point in my life I'm married, 2 kids, 1 on the way, and I figure that I'm mature enough to take on the responsibility of both a part time job and a family. But that all gets shot to hell when I'm expected to take on the responsibility of others because they can't seem to manage life.

I'll probably end up deleting this, for fear of my employer finding this (she is also a good friend), but right now I need to get this off my chest. I work in a shop where there are 3 workers. Boss and 2 employees. I pretty much cover 2-3 days a week, boss - the same, and the 3rd person kinda throws in an evening and a weekend here and there. Works well really. Now, 3rd person can't work as often as possible, and Boss is having to shuffle shifts my way - because she "just can't be here". I love it, she has had this company for a little over a year, and hasn't figured out that when you are a business owner - ususally you are here every day! She puts in 2-3 days a week and a Saturday shift a month. ARGH! Then, she gives me shit when I can't cover a shift. I'm not helping out like the others are. BULLSH!T! I cover her ass all the time! I'm here when her kids are sick. I change my whole schedule for her when she has conflicts at her daycare. I'm here whenever she wants me to be, and NOW she tells me that I'm not helping out. WTF??

Case in point. 3rd employee has 2 Saturday shifts this month, but now says that she can't do them both because hubby is working both Saturdays. (he has a new full time job). So, instead of hiring someone new after NOBODY can take the shifts (- or taking one herself) She is looking at me, and wondering why I can't take the shifts. I'm not "doing anything". I'm sorry if I want a weekend to myself where I can work on my backyard in order to keep it up so I can sell my house next year. Every weekend I have been helping someone else, or working at the store, so SH!T if I can't have a weekend to myself. I've done enough double Saturday shifts that I'm sick of it! I did my time, now find someone else to do it!

I'm even taking a damn machine home with me during my Maternity Leave (yes, I'm taking the whole year) because nobody wants to learn the machine, and I'm the only one who knows how to work it.

Damn

I feel that when I get back from Maternity leave there will be no store to come back to. I keep thinking that she is running the thing into the ground. I don't even want to get into the money trouble there is. But, instead of asking for help, or getting a partner into the store, she keeps going on, and putting it all on her own shoulders. I know that for her grant she HAS to keep the store up for 2 years (due in April 2008), but it's not working. I'm not about to help her out financially, because I just can't do it (and frankly don't want to). But damn. Either put in more hours, hire someone, or call it quits. It's starting to get annoying!

Okay, enough venting. I have to go do a few more things this afternoon. Yes, I'm at work. Taking a late lunch break and getting stuff done! ARGH!

Rella

Let's play... catchup!

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:17:00 +0000

Wow. It's been a while since I blogged, but that only means that my hubby and I are talking more, and I have less to get off my chest. (Such as it is).

Let's see... to catch up.

Pirates 3 - Good movie. Don't expect too much, and you will be happily surprised. After-all movies are just entertainment. Period.

Spiderman 3 - Ditto from above. But, not as good as P3.

Baby update - Well, I'm about 23 weeks along. No, I'm not going to translate that into months (okay somewhere around 5 months). It's annoying enough to remember the weeks or months, I'm not trying to do both.

The baby is doing well. (no surprise considering my baby-making history). My belly is growing, but not as fast as the last few times. Which, is a good thing. I think that I've gained now a total of 9-10 pounds in 23 weeks. I like those numbers! I credit continuing my workout and boxing, although squash has suffered since Kris has been sick. The ultrasound was a bust when it came to finding out the gender. Oh well. Another surprise then! :)

Kids - The rugrats are growing like crazy. DD (almost 2) is finally in her own room. (She woke up constantly, thus her bed stayed in our room - why the heck should I actually get up to deal with her?) Last night was a rough night. She came looking for me at about 2:30AM. Yeah, she went downstairs (where I usually am, except at 2:30AM), so the moral of THAT story is to keep the gate up at the top of the stairs, so I can keep an ear out as to where she is. Would consider putting the gate on her own door, but that would make for a bad scene when prego me went to check on her at night, and forgot the gate was there! :)

Life - Life is crazy as always. People think I'm nuts for continuing Boxing at this stage of the pregnancy. Too bad. I love boxing. But, I wanted to pummel the bxing trainers girlfriend last time. Yeah... "How far along are you". "Wow, 5+ months! You've really gained." (Which I haven't). "I remember really popping during the last month. Before that, I really didn't have a belly." THAT is total BS. Sure Ms Skinny Stick, you had no trace of a pregnancy until the last month. I highly doubt it. The longer she talked, the better it sounded to work out my frustrations on the heavy bag. Can you guess who I pictured there? There are just some things you don't say - especially if you are a skinny stick, who can't remember even how to hit the damn bag! ARGH!

Anyway, life is good now, and I'm off to work. Hope your day is a good one.

5 months and 4 pounds.

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Thu, 24 May 2007 17:30:00 +0000

It's funny. I've been going so crazy lately I barely remember that I'm pregnant. Yep. 21 weeks so far. Well, okay, I remember that I'm pregnant, but it's not at the forefront of everything that I'm doing. Running after 2 kids, and having a life simply takes precedence. So, how do you think I felt when the today I was at the gym (yes, I've kept up the gym, boxing and squash so far)... and the scale told me that I was DOWN two pounds. WTF? DOWN? That's in addition to the 2 that I lost over the weekend. So, in all, this week I've LOST 4 pounds? And, if you've been playing along I've been happy that I've gained only 8-9 pounds during this whole thing so far. I seriously would not have believed it.

So, now the question is, what does this mean to the baby bopping inside me? Does this mean that it's eating away everything from me stashed away in those fat cells (go baby!), or have I been taking away something that should have been there? I've been feeling fine. Really, no complications at all to complain about (yes, I know women hate me).

On the up side, considering that I lost 30 pounds starting March 2006, my panic this morning to find something wear was averted. It's a warm 30C(86F) out there! Would you believe that last summer's "too big" clothes fit me? I don't know what possessed me to keep them, but with my ever widening belly this is a good thing. Yes, I'm cheap. I don't want to buy maternity clothes until I HAVE to! I hate those panel things! Ug!

Okay, that's it for me for now. I have a mid-wives appointment next week, so hopefully she won't get on my case that day.

Gots to go.
Rella

Things that make you go - WTF?

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 17:46:00 +0000

First, let me say - sorry (if indeed there is anyone reading this). I have been more than dismissive of my duties to blog. But, well, life happens.

I really felt the need to get this off my chest today... I mean, it's been bugging me all morning, and I can't seem to shake it.

I got cc'ed on an e-mail from my sister-in-law yesterday (went initially to my hubby). She was inviting us to a Thanksgiving dinner (yep, 5 months in advance!) in October! She was making plans early - and wanted to make sure that everyone got the message. To me, Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks (duh), and it's a time for family. So, she is inviting us, without kids! Ummm.. did I mention about the family part? She wanted to have a sit-down meal, and having the kids (7 adults, with 8 kids), was just out of the question. Huh...

So, hubby sends back an e-mail, reminding her that baby #3 is due about 5 days prior to her dinner, and in the list of options, he said that either we wouldn't be coming, or if we did, could it be with the baby? We are not about to leave a 4 day old child with sitters for a few hours. I just won't do it! (Hell, I'll be breastfeeding if nothing else).

Do you know what she said??? Sorry you can't make it. Just like that.
She knocked us out of the whole thing because she didn't want a baby there.

Hubby is considering having the kids over at our home that night so they can get together. How are our kids supposed to know their family, when family functions are without kids? I tell ya, his grandmother would be having a fit if she were still alive!

Since when did having family gatherings exclude children? Since when did having kids become a burden? Since when have kids become an accessory, to dump whenever you have the chance. My thinking is that when you've got kids, your family is the whole package deal. You want us over, that's ALL of us!

Oy, I just can't believe what she's said. She is very self-absorbed. Excluding us... for having kids. Love it.

Piss on her.
R.

It's Spring, what do you mean SNOW???

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:22:00 +0000

Whose idea was this? Umm... someone better inform Mother Nature that her jokes are not that funny. I woke this morning (at 5:25am) to a dusting of snow on the ground. I mean a dusting, it was pushed around to the edges of the street, and was really barely there. Then, I came back from the gym and realized that there was a little more snow. I came out of my house with the kids in tow, and had to brush off the van because I knew it just wouldn't blow off. The kids wore their winter boots, and my son insisted on bringing his snowpants to the baby-sitters! ARGH! The bloody snowplows are even out!!! It's supposed to be about 15cm from last night to tonight. That's 5, almost 6 inches!!! ARGH!

Let me tell you, I was not impressed. And now, I heard the forecast and it's supposed to rain. What a mess! Secretly I hope that everyone will stay home, and I can get some work done here at the store. I'm not putting any money on it, but lets hope.

More later
Rella

Hump Day

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 20:05:00 +0000

Wow, another crazy week, and thank goodness it's almost over. Okay, it's only Wednesday, but it's past noon. :)

I'm off to a meeting tonight for work, and I'm afraid I'll get nothing done. I mean, I'll be doing some scrapbooking at the meeting, but really who can concentrate? I got 3 pages done one night while the family slept, but that was when I could semi-sleep in the next day. Guess I'll have to see what I can get done this weekend. I do have deadline.

For those of you wondering what the heck I'm talking about when it comes to scrapbooking, well, it's a phenomenon. One that the ever so wonderful Martha Stewart is going to try her hand at. Yes, "Martha" herself. Lemme tell ya, I'm not impressed. When the big guys start putting their fingers into something I always think that it's the beginning of the end. I mean really, buying her stuff will mean spending big bucks, and that's not the point. The idea is to get the memories down on paper and pictures before the brain decides to forget it all. Not, who can spend the most money.

Whatever. I'm working again tomorrow, which means that I'll be trying to get stuff done, and getting bored doing it. Oh well.

I know.. bad post, but what do you expect with 2 kids running around you? :)

Rella

As the Belly Expands

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 17:31:00 +0000

Yep, it's official, there is something in the "oven". Okay, so that was yesterday's turkey, I really mean that there is some truth to the fact that I'm pregnant. How do I know? The belly. It has begun.

Yep 13 weeks along, and I'm already showing. I guess that's normal, after-all it's kid #3. I'm starting to get rid of those pants that I worked so hard to fit into, only to try and find something in my closet that will fit. Ironically I didn't get a chance to donate the last batch of clothes, although they feel really big on me right now. My belly has grown, thankfully not my ass.

So, I guess next thing to do is to start getting ready for this kid. Yeah, I know that it's a while away, but knowing my luck the days will speed by! After all my youngest (1.5) just moved into her "big girl bed". I know, it sounds corny, but she looks so tiny in that big bed. Now, the next step is to move her into her own room. Harder than it sounds considering how often she wakes at night.

This time I'm going to find out if I'm looking for girl names or boy names. Woman's intuition, no, untrasound! :) If i had to rely on the intuition, I wouldn't be much better off than I am now. Kid #1 was all about sweet stuff, kid #2 was craving salty stuff, this kid? sugar in the morning, and salt in the PM! Yeah, you're so much help. So, nix the idea about intuition on this one, and go for the ultrasound! Granted it's only a 95% chance of being correct, but I think I can live with that 5% possibility.

Okay, that's enough for me at the moment. I have to find something to eat before I fade away. Have a good Easter/Passover/Long Weekend. After doing dinner at my place last night, we're heading to my sister's place tonight. yay... more food. Definately what I need for this expanding belly. ARGH!

ciao
Rella

Tradeshow Tired

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 18:24:00 +0000

So, the question is, have you ever been so wired, you just can't go to sleep? Let's qualify that statement. Have you ever been so excited/anxious that you couldn't sleep? Non med-induced, drug induced, caffeine induced wired?

I was - and thankfully it's all over. You see, my boss and I went to this retailers trade-show on Wed/Thurs/Friday of last week, and I was just WIPED because of it. I mean, the days I was there I could hardly sleep for being so excited, and when I got home I crashed! I slept like a log!!! It was great. Nothing better than crashing when you really need the sleep.

The tradeshow was a success, we had a great time, and yesterday and today we are paying for it. It seriously worked like those old commercials - the word of mouth chain. You tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on, and so on.... God, I haven't heard the words "what's new" so many times! Take a look around... EVERYTHING feels like it's new. I can't find a thing because of it. I can't go on with my daily blog readings because of those words echoing from each person walking through the doors. ARgh!

Anway, it's a good and bad thing. Sales are up, and that pays my paycheck. I'm just wishing I could do some shopping for myself, and not looking at all this nice stuff and wishing.

I guess my day will come.

Night
Rella

Heart ramblings

noreply@blogger.com (Rella) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 19:32:00 +0000

Why is it that we women put our hearts on our sleeve, only to have it slapped off? You'd think that when you've had your heart crushed a few times, you wouldn't put it out there again. You'd figure that the world would be full of heartless women. Women you just don't bring home to Mama. Women that just do what we think that the male species sometimes does to us - love 'em and leave 'em.

But, that's such a HUGE generalization that I'll get slapped for it. Thankfully women aren't like that, we keep putting our hearts out there, sometimes stupidly so, if nothing else than to find someone to help us put it back together.

Then, out of the blue, someone comes and after stomping a bit, realizes that it's your heart they are stomping on, and treads a little more carefully. Really, some guys are stoopid. Some guys just don't think of the consequences of their actions - where we women think of nothing but. Go ahead, prove me wrong! Highschool, university, college, whereever it was, there was a woman who read more into what you guys said or did. A night out with the boys turned into "he doesn't want to spend time with me..." "he's looking for someone else". Crap, why do we do this to ourselves?

But then, there are those guys that are stoopid, but figure out that they can help you, they can be on your side, they can be the one to fix your heart. Then, you have figured out what love is. I know, it sounds sappy, but that's just me. You find someone that you can be "normal" with, you don't have to second guess, and after awhile of hesitating putting it all "out there" you figure that you can, and you'll be safe.

Me, I'm happy now where I am. I've found someone that will tell me point blank that I'm being an idiot, or that they don't agree with me. I don't have to worry that he doesn't want to spend time with me, or that he is "lurking" with someone else. I don't have to worry that women are hitting on him, because in reality I don't think that he would notice it unless it slapped him in the face. And if he does know, he wouldn't do a damn thing to further it!

We women are a strange lot. No wonder you guys have a heck of a time figuring us out. My advice to you? Don't be stupid, think about what you are doing, and be honest - even if it means showing off how stupid you were. And, above all, forgive us for thinking the worst. A good portion of us have had our hearts stomped on, and it's hard to put it out there and make even a small commitment without worrying what the other person is thinking.

Rella