Christmas Gifts - Bah, humbug

You know.. I hate Christmas. I mean, I love Christmas, but I hate it too. I have this bad tendency to build things up in my head, and when the event comes I'm usually bitterly disappointed. I remember one Christmas where I almost cried. I got 2 gifts. That's it. 2. One of which I didn't want, and the other came out of left field, but nothing I wanted. That, and I hate getting clothing. It really just makes me realize how much weight I have to lose again. Mind you, I need clothes, but I just don't want anyone else buying them, forget it being my mother-in-law or her family who buys me clothes that are too big, and look like they belong on someone 20 years older than I am.

But strangely, I love buying gifts for family, and the kids... it's amazing to see their eyes light up when they get something that they've been wanting. I guess that's what I'm missing. Wanting. There isn't really anything that I want right now in life. Nothing that really is at the top of my wish list (that's easy to buy, or within anyone's budget). So, I get sad when I get crap that I've never wanted, now have to find space for. It means that people don't get me. I can so understand others. I'm great and buying gifts... but I don't know what I want - how can I expect others to. They get me knicknacks - when I've sworn never to have any. They get me lotion - I hate lotions, I forget to use them. They get me bubblebaths.... I don't do baths. So, what to get me? I dunno.... time at the gym. A cool gadget. Time with a professional organizer. A cooking class. A book I've been wanting. A renewal on my magazine subscript. There are things... but I don't know how many people know me that well.

But, what's a gift really? Time with friends I'll take any day over a crappy knicknak. Give me fixings for a good pizza dinner and a date with which to share it with my friends.... that's a good one.

Well, I'm off shopping tomorrow. Gotta keep within the budget. Hard, but do-able (I hope).

Have a good weekend.

Rella