Christmas Gifts - Bah, humbug

You know.. I hate Christmas. I mean, I love Christmas, but I hate it too. I have this bad tendency to build things up in my head, and when the event comes I'm usually bitterly disappointed. I remember one Christmas where I almost cried. I got 2 gifts. That's it. 2. One of which I didn't want, and the other came out of left field, but nothing I wanted. That, and I hate getting clothing. It really just makes me realize how much weight I have to lose again. Mind you, I need clothes, but I just don't want anyone else buying them, forget it being my mother-in-law or her family who buys me clothes that are too big, and look like they belong on someone 20 years older than I am.

But strangely, I love buying gifts for family, and the kids... it's amazing to see their eyes light up when they get something that they've been wanting. I guess that's what I'm missing. Wanting. There isn't really anything that I want right now in life. Nothing that really is at the top of my wish list (that's easy to buy, or within anyone's budget). So, I get sad when I get crap that I've never wanted, now have to find space for. It means that people don't get me. I can so understand others. I'm great and buying gifts... but I don't know what I want - how can I expect others to. They get me knicknacks - when I've sworn never to have any. They get me lotion - I hate lotions, I forget to use them. They get me bubblebaths.... I don't do baths. So, what to get me? I dunno.... time at the gym. A cool gadget. Time with a professional organizer. A cooking class. A book I've been wanting. A renewal on my magazine subscript. There are things... but I don't know how many people know me that well.

But, what's a gift really? Time with friends I'll take any day over a crappy knicknak. Give me fixings for a good pizza dinner and a date with which to share it with my friends.... that's a good one.

Well, I'm off shopping tomorrow. Gotta keep within the budget. Hard, but do-able (I hope).

Have a good weekend.

Rella

Look at them... jugs!

Wow, time is flying by with this kid. Life is good, things are finally getting into some kind of groove. Granted, I see 3am in that groove, but that's okay too, cuz I sometimes nap between 10am-12. I kinda wonder how far I'm actually going to get with this breastfeeding stuff. Baby #1 got as far as 3 months with major anxiety, baby #2 got 6 months, now I'm wondering if baby #3 will get more than 1 month??? Yeast infections are a pain, and once you have them they seem to come back fairly easily. That's what was our problem in week #2.... and guess what is back! ARGH!

I've been going bra-less for awhile now, in hopes of keeping the yeast away from my breasts, but I'm thinking that it hasn't made much of a difference. The girls are starting to hurt again, and I wonder if it's from ... umm.. lack of support.. ahem.. or the infection coming back. Pain in the nipple! Really! And to top it all off, there are other locations that are seeing yeast infections as well, and the itching is driving me nuts! Well, back to the other meds I guess. My Lactation consultant/Nurse Practitioner is gone for the weekend, but she left me with a pill I can take in case the infection comes back, so I guess I'm back to that.

Plus, in order to help more milk come in, I'm starting with this SNS - Supplementary Nursing System. Oh joy, another thing I have to wash, sterilize, etc, and hope it doesn't get contaminated with yeast. If I didn't believe so heavily in breastfeeding, I wonder how long I would last at this! But, I really want to at least get 2 months in, so I guess I'm in it for awhile then - lets just hope that the feeding gets better, and maybe, just maybe the milk will come in more. You'd figure with these jugs they would hold more than your average milk jug! :)

Anyway, hope all is going well with your life... if anyone is out there!

Rella

Weeks gone by

What... how can that be. going for weeks without blogging. I guess that I've been blogging in my dreams, yeah, if I had any at this point. I've been getting very little sleep lately. What, with the baby rolling on my 'innerds', and generally causing me pain at night, sleep is a fiction that I wish I could live. Between that, and getting up 3 times a night to pee, things just are driving me nuts.

Oh well. At least I can take a nap later. Let's hope.

P.

Update... pregnancy

It's sad really. I haven't been blogging because very little has been going on in my life. Besides, who's going to read it anyway. (Kris, you out there... oh yeah... you're coming to dinner!).

Anyway, things have been going well with the pregnancy. I can't believe that the end is near (read, kid will arrive soon - ACK!). I've been feeling really good about everything my body has been doing, or not doing for that matter... and really... it's all good.

I know that it's a bad thing to say, but I have been chatting with some friends going through hard times lately, and I keep remembering how good I've got it. Really. Good kids, great hubby, really good friends. Can't go wrong, right... right? Anyway, it's kinda like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know... the kid will show early, home delivery will go awry, and I won't even have anything for the kid to wear. Must fix that. It's actually hilarious that I don't have much for this kid yet. I mean.... it's only 4 weeks away. Guess I should get some stuff together. Kids are so easy at this age tho. They don't need much except clothes, diapers, a boob to suck on, and some comforting arms. At least, that's what I say now! :)

All in all... things are good. Now, what's oging to happen that I said that? Hmmm???? At this point, short of pregnancy complications, I could probably handle anything that life tosses my way. And, that's how I like it.

Rella