It's over....I can't believe it.....

It's a sad day.

No, really, a sad, sad, day. Today I found out that my trainer will be leaving the gym that I'm at. Okay, that, in itself does not sound so bad, but let me frame this right. As Kris says, he's a hot P.T. Yes, I don't say it very often, but he is an attractive guy who is truly nice. You really don't find people like that anymore. I mean, one that is good looking, and sincerely concerned about you. Well, yes, he gets paid to be concerned, but it doesn't turn off when the clock hits the hour mark.

The first thing I said when he told me was... "Good for you.. bad for me." Really. I looked forward to getting up at 5:30AM and working out at 6AM! I mean, who else would get out of bed for me at that god-awful hour and help me workout? He did! I started working out sometime in March of this year. I did it as a present to myself. And, man did the gods line things up for me when I met my trainer. Nice guy, attractive, concerned, and truly funny. But, you know, I'm married, and he might as well be! :) So, I started to love to workout, where if I did this myself, I could find a thousand reasons and aches and pains that would stop me from going to the gym. But, we was there waiting, so I HAD to go.

But, my big question is... when did my working out become not working out, but meeting a friend to workout with? When did that change over? I mean, I still paid him, I still expected him to push me hard, but when did it become a friendship? I can't say that he thinks it's a friendship, but I do. Because that's what he has become. Drop of a hat, and I would help him or his girlfriend out, no questions! Part of me feels like it's a little of a betrayal with him leaving, and the other part thinks... GREAT FOR YOU!!!

But, now I get to be a little selfish. What the heck with this do to my workout. Can I click with someone else working out with me? Will they push me as hard? Or will they treat me like a girl, and use kid gloves? I like working out with guys, because in my warped mind, they push harder. (Can't say that from experience, but many of the women I've seen at the gym have makeup and hair done - they aren't there for the workout... I think.)

Anyway, that's my comment for this morning. I may post something a little more Halloween-ie later!

Ciao
Rella

Going, Going... gone!

Man, who knew that I was THAT popular?

This weekend (and the past week), have been just crazy. I've been helping to organize a scrapbooking event - consisting of 180 women in 1 room, scrapbooking for 25 hours. Sounds crazy, huh? Well, it was. Don't want to bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that it was a blast. Yes, I was working, but I had fun chatting it up with some girls from Sault Ste. Marie. But, that's not the fun part.

The owner of the scrapbook store that was hosting, was auctioned for 200 dollars and change. Or, rather her services were. So, then the question came around, asking how much my services would be. The bidding started, fast and furious, and ended at $150. Well, I think that this sounds great. Yeah, I know, 6 hours for 150 bucks, doesn't sound like much, but it was rather flattering. I mean, I could have been sold for $30.00, and that would have been a little insulting even!!

I can sorta understand how these bachelors feel who are sold at auction (a little), when people are bidding for your time, and you really don't want one of them to win. The other bidders I didn't know, but the bunch of women that pitched in, were all... well... sorta friends - customers that are friendly.

It was fun, and I can't wait for the evening I'm spending with them. Yes, it will be work. Yes, I won't get paid. And, yes, it will be an afternoon and part of an evening killed - but at least it will be with women that are fun, and interesting!

Okay, I've got nothing else in me tonight. Kris was trying to tell me to make a kinky connection between the auction and auctioning men.. but, I don't have the brainpower anymore for the subtlty of it all. Maybe another night. But for now, I just have a smile on my face because someone wants to pay money to spend time with me. That, weather kinky or not, is a good thing!

Rella

It's all about Attitude

I totally believe that in life, it's all about attitude. It's all about what kind of mood you put out, will reflect what you get back.

Today, for the 4th time (at least), I had to bring my car to the shop to get it fixed. And.. it's the same problem that keeps occurring - I can't put it into reverse! So, I called in, and brought it in today. I guess the guy behind the counter was ready to get reemed. But no, I'm super nice as a customer. I don't have to pay for it, since it's under warrantee and I don't need the car while I'm at work. So really, it's no biggee. I saw the sense of relief on the guy's face when I didn't ball him out, but told him that nahhh.. it's not worth getting pissed off over.

Same thing with people at work today. I told them the car is in the shop again, and they got hushed, and waited for me to start up my rant. But, I didn't. What's the point? I can't change it... it's broken. It's been given to the guys who can fix it. It's not worth killing my day over!

I wish more people would have this attitude. Not to get mad over the things you can't change. How much better would our life be? Complaining is good, yes... but really, if it's not going to matter one way or the other, relax!

I think maybe it's the same way with dating and stuff. No, I'm not single, but I hang out with Kris, and she is! So, if you put out the attitude that you are having fun, enjoying yourself, wouldn't you attract a different kind of person than if you were looking desperate and NOT having a good time? I mean, doesn't a man want someone that knows how to have fun... that goes with the flow?

I realized back in highschool that I could never catch the GORGEOUS guys. I'm just not that kind of looker. But, in university I talked - with anyone! I was chipper, and easy going. So, I ended up with a lot of male friends. I suppose looking back, I could have dated more of them (maybe), or at least taken a step in that direction.. but it wasn't me at the time.

I even had enough balls to take my chipper attitude and talk to a very attractive guy one night while home from college. Hey, it worked out. We dated. (Turned out he didn't know when people were flirting with him unless he talked to them). And yeah.. we're now happily married. So, I took the right attitude, and married up. I totally think that.

That's just me. Hopefully I run into less grumpy people today, and more happy ones. But, I guess that would happen anyway since it's Friday.

I'm looking forward to Saturday at the bar. I'll take that same attitude - have some fun, talk to a few people... and hopefully find Kris a catch. Let's hope.

Sincerely
Cupid... aka Rella

A bad night, remedied by shopping?

Man, did I have a crappy night last night. I was supposed to go out to my regular Wednesday night activity - but it was canceled. So, I did a favour for my sister instead, and brought my niece to the Y for swimming. That, was actually the good part. I got some sketching done for a few projects, and listened to my music. But, then it turned.

I got home later, and I was just inundated with kids. I guess my psyche was just on overload, after expecting a night of peace and quiet. You know, out with the girls, get some stuff done... then home just in time for the kids to hit the bed.

But no, it was crazy-ness and screaming all night long. I tried to sit down at the computer, and I just couldn't get a moment to myself. So, I may have taken it out on hubby... and Kris. Sorry girl.

But, there is a light on the horizon. I'm going out on Friday night (instead of my usual Wednesday night out) to meet some girls and work on a project. Then, it's out with Kris on Saturday night. My hubby is being really good to me, and watching the kids. I just need some me time, and woman time.

You know, time to figure that I'm still a girl, despite my current in-between state of big clothes, and smaller clothes... Maybe to make myself feel more like I'm progressing in the weight loss department, I'll buy some new sexy underwear. Hmmm.. always a thought. That, and maybe some jeans that don't feel 3 sizes too big, and 1 size too short!

Well, that's it for me. Nothing exciting to post otherwise. Yep. That's it. Boring life huh?

Rella

The biggest responsibility

Wow, I just finished reading Doug's blog, and it has really changed my mind as to what to discuss today. I was going to discuss the good news that I have - well, I can't say good news, but ok news. A local bar that we've been waiting to open, will open it's doors this weekend. Friday, Saturday, who knows? But, at least it's a start. The reason that it's a good thing, is that it's a local hangout where the younger (but not too young) crowd have been known to hangout after work. So, that means, things are looking up for this weekend.

But, back to Doug's blog on saving lives... wow.. what a change of pace. I posted this on his comment section:
---------------
Doug,

So, I can’t totally understand, but I can empathize. Who wants responsibility for another’s life. When I first held my son in my arms, I cried. I cried because it was *my* son, I cried because he was healthy, and I cried because I had to watch over him, keep him safe, and ultimately be responsible for him (at least for the next 18 years or so). I mean, who gets blamed for it all, psychologically or otherwise but the mother.

So, maybe I can understand not wanting to put or phrase it that way. That by saving their life, possibly, you are then responsible for the losses as well.

But, despite not wanting the responsibility it’s there. You’re a doc. I’m a mom. We are responsible, because we stepped up to the plate. It’s like not wanting to become a parent, but flubbing through it the best you can.

That’s how I see it. Take the good, with the bad. But, hope for the best, and do your best to bring out that outcome.

In the end, it’s all you can do.

Rella
----------------------------

This hits home to me today. I received word (finally) that another couple - friends of ours - are expecting a baby. It really brings me back to the fact that when you have a kid, life DRAMATICALLY changes. I mean, for the better, but really, you are responsible for them. For it all. Good, bad, and ugly. And, it does get ugly. (I'm just going through the good stuff - age 1-4, now here comes the back-talk.)

I think of a friend of mine who's got a little girl. She's single, and poor woman can't even get out of her house without that little one in tow. To leave that child in the care of someone else is the hardest thing to do. How does one go about trying to find another partner, or even someone to hang out with - without putting your heart on the line, both at home, and then when you are out? Girlie, I totally admire you, don't think that I could do it alone (and, I do know you are reading this). Responsibility sometimes totally outweighs what you want to do in life. It's hard, but totally worth it. You could cut yourself off, and say "forget it". But, she doesn't. She puts herself out there, and tries. I know you are just starting this, but I know you girl.

Well, that's enough rambling for me. I don't want to think too hard about those kids, and where they are, while I type this out at work. (shhhhh, don't tell the boss). Thank goodness they have a grandma that babysits!

Have a good day everyone.
Rella

Dancing... in my chair if nowhere else!

I sitting here, on a Saturday night, at home (yes, this sounds bad already)... I'm listening to a few mp3's... and just loving it. I've really come to the realization that some dj's and remix artists, are exactly that - artists. Who would mix eminem and queen together, and come up with something just totally cool?

Last night Kris and I went to the bar after playing some pool. I was just in the mood to dance. But no, the music just didn't cut it, and the bar was, well... DEAD. I mean, if a bar says that they have an over 25 crowd... what the heck are 19 year olds doing, trying to get in there? Plus, why were there only 45 year olds there?

Argh! It's just frustrating. But... it will get better, just bad luck I guess.

So, tonight, I'm sitting here.. listening to my music, enjoying mixes and remixes.

And sending good wishes to my boxing instructor as he does some UFC-style fighting in Gatineau, Quebec. Good luck Dan!

Hope you have a good weekend
Rella

Yes, today I am rambling.... rambling philosophical.

I was thinking as I was driving into work this morning. (Yes, sometimes this is a bad thing, but stick with me here...) I often wonder where things came from. I looked over and saw an attractive guy standing at a crowded bus stop. I can totally understand why buses came along. I mean, some guy was driving his carriage to work, and someone else lived next door, and wanted a ride. And a few more, and so on, and so on.

So, taking that (albeit simplistic) view on life. I then wondered if civilization would start again, completely blank slate... what would show up again? I mean, the basics in life here. A market. A school/schoolhouse. A judge? I wonder. How many things just wouldn't come to pass if things were to start again.

How many things have happened in my life, that had they been different - I would have been different? I'm currently reading M.J. Rose's "Lying in Bed". In the beginning one of her characters has an ephiphany. He realizes that he loves the heroine. Loves who she is. And understands that who she is, is a direct result of her past - and thus, a direct result of her experiences, her fears, her loves.... and thus, her lovers. He understands that to love this woman, he can't hate those that came before him. He has to love them as well. (Well, I wouldn't have gone that far, but I get it.)

So, think about it. If you hadn't met that SO in highschool, would you have done the things you did, and ended up where you did? I know that had I not met a few people in my life, I would not have met my husband. Or would I have? There have been so many times that we really, should have met... but never did. Was that fate, playing a game? Were those lost opportunities? If I met him back then, would I have "hooked up" with him, or would I have dated and then dumped him?

I, for one, am glad of the way life has worked out so far. No MAJOR regreets. But, what would have happened, if I did it all differently.

Guess that's why writers are so fascinated with "other worlds" or parallel universes. Hmmm...

Sometimes I wish I were a writer.

Ack
Rella.

To pie, or not to pie?

I love long weekends. But, really, in the large scheme of things, I love when they are over, and the routine takes over again.

I'm just waiting for what passes as routine to start up here tomorrow. But, then again, Tuesdays don't have much of a routine except for Yu Shin Do in the evenings. Grab the kids, feed them, and off we go. Both kids are not in school that day, so it's really a day with me and the kids. Good, and bad I guess.

What's really odd this week is that I'm only working 1 day. Yes folks, 1 day. But that means that I only get paid for 1 day as well. ARgh! Then, I have Thursday & Friday with the kids, then All Day Saturday as hubby is going to watch the fights in Hull/Gatineau. It's an all day affair, considering that he's taking a bus and it's quite far away.

So, in a nutshell, I'm not really looking forward to this week.

On a funny note, I think that I surprised my personal trainer's girlfriend. After a comment by Mr. PT to Kris about not yet getting a pie (from the 51 that were made last weekend), I decided as a Thanksgiving gesture, I would drop off one. But, you really can't give a frozen pie to a guy at work, so I dropped it off at his home. Not a biggie, he knows that I know where he lives. Hmmm.. guess the girlfriend didn't. Her eyes were big as I drove up, and jumped out of the car with my son in tow, carrying a pie. Guess when clients know where you live, and drop off stuff, it may be getting too personal. Sorry. I just wanted to drop off a Thanksgiving pie! Next time... don't complain about not getting one!

Oh well. I guess I'll hear about it tomorrow during our training session.

See ya
Rella

Relaxed morning

Ahhh... It's a quiet morning. The little one is still sleeping - the others have left for the morning, and it's just me and a sinkfull of dishes for a little bit.

Well, at least I have a little quiet time to myself. Have a happy Canadian thanksgiving...

Rella

Karmic alignment, or something....

I think that I need a "happily ever after".

What do I mean? Well, I need something to make sense in my world, and something that ends up the way it's supposed to. I mean, things have just been going by the wayside in my life lately (or, at least, that's how it feels). I need something that would make sense, that would come to a happy ending (or at least a happy ending moment). Like, a surprise meeting, renewing an old friendship, seeing people meet - that should meet. Seeing a couple, that are "meant" for each other. Having a TOTALLY unexpected surprise just hit me. (now, having said that, I'm waiting for it. Crap, shouldn't have said it....)

That's not to say that I'm bejudging what I have with my SO, not in a million years. But, karmically, I need to see a happy moment in the world.

Maybe it's because I've just had all this anger in me today and yesterday, that I just can't shake. Maybe it's because karmically, I think that I'm due.

Something.

I'm waiting...

... for anything.

Rella

Don't get in my way.....

I'm crabby.

Yes, it's no big surprise, but after a ka-jillion things came down on my head yesterday - I had had enough! Not to mention being all emotional, I'm surprised that I didn't sit down and just cry. But, that's not like me... well, yet anyway.

It's not anything that I can put my finger on, but it seemed like everyone wanted a piece of me yesterday, and nobody was willing to say - "hey, good idea", or "thank you" - hey, I was even willing to go for a "thanks bud!". But, no... Thus, this morning I'm still feeling crappy. My sushi plans are crumbling, but damn it, I am going to go out for sushi if it kills me, and I'm the only one there.

I've even been thinking about going out dancing tonight, or at least playing pool. Actually, wacking something around sounds like a good idea. I tell ya, last night I was so pissed off with life, that if the gym was open I would have considered going and hitting a squash ball until it or I was out of juice.

Well, I have nothing else to add today. Life is boring, and while I try to keep it interesting, I'm not holding out for much hope. Especially with my car in the shop. I tell ya, if my car is not in ship-shape by 3:00pm today - they are going to get the bad end of this stick!!! Watch out!

Totally annoyed....
Rella

The end is near....

Well, okay, not really the end, but the end of a weekend. It's been crazy - mother-in-law visit. Apple Pie making Day, Hubby's BDay party. Just crazy. Not to mention the insomnia, and working until Midnight on Friday night. Crazy.

This is one evening that I will enjoy, and be happy to see Monday morning come. I know, I'm nuts! :)

But, the highlight of the weekend was probably Apple Pie making day. Yes, it's an annual event, where 4 friends (2 couples) get together, and try to make as many pies as possible in an afternoon. This year, we must have set a record or something. 51 pies! Yes, you heard it - 51!! Well, divide that in 2, subtract the odd pie, and 2 more for a friend's parents. 24 pies for each house. I could give a pie away every second week - or eat one.

My husband went to the basement to start putting these pies away into the freezer. Wouldn't you know it, 2 pies were still there from last year. November 2005. Okay, so maybe we weren't eating them fast enough - but then again, we are a month early! :)

So, anyone for some pie? Guess what we are having for a snack tonight? Popcorn. I don't want to see another pie for awhile! :)

Rella